I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize