is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
