I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
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