Pappa wants mamma naked
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
