Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
