i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
