i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
