dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
