break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
