Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
