I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize