Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
