Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
