I have demons in me.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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