he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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