how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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