maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
