How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
