If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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