its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Let's get the cat blown out
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
