Need sex. Gaining weight.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
