I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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