you traded sex for a burrito?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
