we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
