You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
