I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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