Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
