I heard we made out
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize
