I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
