I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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