There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize