dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
