the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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