Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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