I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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