I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
