i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
