like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize
