OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
