Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
