Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
What a dumb baby whore.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
