So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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