Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
