you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
