I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
one might say we're banned from that church
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
