dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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