you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
