doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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