i think my tv is drunk
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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