If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
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