girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
