her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Duck Duck Cougar?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
