It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
