And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
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