Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
my poor anus
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
