so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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