I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
MIDGETS
????
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
