I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I think my moral compass just broke
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
