perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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