There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
