some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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