There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
this boner is exhausting
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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