A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
